Monday, May 27, 2013

Need a Little Help There???

I often wonder how my sister and I made it through our childhood years unharmed by my mother's roughness.  Roughness?  Spacey-ness?  (<-- Yes, that's a word!)  Everything this lady does is so rough and NON-delicate.  She's like a bull in a china shop, people!

My mama dyes her hair on her own most days.  Occasionally, I assist her.  The majority of the time, she dyes her hair some shade of brown.  However, if for some reason she ever dyed her hair red, you would think her bathroom was a crime scene!  It boggles my mind how she makes such a mess.  She gets dye on the wall, down the cabinets, all over the floor, and—most importantly—all over herself!  Now I'm not talking about the random drop of dye that sneaks its way down your forehead.  No.  I'm talking about it looks like she became confused mid-dye, and tried to dye her face—not her hair.  Think I'm exaggerating???  Fine.  I'll prove it.

Hair Dye

I would just like to point out the dye that has somehow made its way underneath her chin.  Oh!  And also, to that "pool" of dye behind her ear.  And lastly, let me just say that this was not a one-time thing.  No, my friends.  This is every time.  This is her life.  I'll just give you a moment to soak that in…

Friday, March 8, 2013

GRRRRR!!!

Bonus post!!!!  This site refuses to allow me use the same font for each post.  Sorry for the inconsistency!  See?!?!?!?!?!

*Sigh*

Hi there!  I know...  I know...  It's been a while.  So sorry to leave you hanging like that, but Yo Mama (my mama) hasn't been giving me much to work with lately.  Now, I know what you're thinking: "But My Mother's Child, you said that you have years’ worth of stories about Yo Mama.  Why not just use one of those?!"  Well, my dear friends...  Those stories are far too great to just use them all up at once.  They need to be strategically spaced out.  But fret not!  I have new material!  Here's a teaser: one involves a temper tantrum thrown by my lovely mother.  But we'll get into that story at a different time.

Recently, my mama got a brand new, shiny iPhone 5.  Too much phone for her?  I think so.  This iPhone has given me quite a few stories for this here blog, and she hasn't even had it a month!

On to the first story.  My mom is quite the texter.  <--Is that a word??  It is now!  Like I said, that woman loooovvveeesss to text.  And with that shiny, new iPhone, she can hardly contain herself!  Well, it was quite apparent that she discovered a new feature the other day.  No need to explain.  You'll see what I mean.


 
Since then, 99.5% of her texts contain some kind of emoji icon.  *sigh*  This is my life, people.