Remember the Knife in My Trunk?

Hi friends! No, that title is not from some cheesy horror film. That’s an actual text that I received from Yo Mama. It’s well known in the family that Yo Mama requires a capable caregiver at ALL times. Otherwise, she gets herself into all types of trouble. Hence, where most of the stories from this blog come from. Well today, Yo Mama was with a not-so-experienced caregiver. And trouble ensued. About a month ago, I saw that my mother had a VERY large knife in the back of her trunk. Upon questioning her, she told me that she had confiscated it from someone at work and needed to “properly dispose of it”. Now is the time where I tell you that by “large knife” I mean machete-type knife. Yup. Big, long, ridiculously sharp knife just sitting loosely in her trunk. Loosely!!!! Not stored in a box. Or even safely secured in a corner. Just thrown in the trunk. We’ll just skip over the part where I tell her that it is unsafe to have that knife in her trunk (for SO many reasons). Now let’s just skip forward to today, shall we? About mid-afternoon, I receive this text from her:

Is anyone shocked here?!?! Because I’m not! Oh, and come to find out, it was actually 17 stitches. Se-ven-teen. Also, don’t judge me on my lack of concern! You all know how Yo Mama is! This type of behavior is expected!!! Now… let’s just focus on one text in particular.

How shady does that text sound when taken out of context?!?!?!?! I will keep this forever. Can you say blackmail? That is all. Goodnight.